Finished Individual Worth Value

I just finished the Personal Progress Individual Worth Value. 

Yippee!!!! 

I did not share many of the journal entries on this value because many of them were very personal.  

It was fun and my favorite part was the project.  It took us 12 hours to make and decorate around 23 mini cakes.  We researched how to do it and we picked a day; whew we had a long day!!  It was tough dealing with all the distractions that can come from having a big family.  My girls learned a lot and have more confidence in making cakes now.  We delivered the cakes to the people who ordered them from us.  The girls were able to go to Retreat For Girls with that money.  

I now have 4 more values to complete!  The goal date to finish is May 26 because that is the St. Y.W. Recognition Night.  I still think I can do this!!

I finished the Personal Progress Divine Nature Value
I am super excited!!  It was one of the busiest times of the year and I was able to finish some goals.  Yippee!!
The 10 hour project was to start a blog.  I started off with two and then condensed it down to one because it became to difficult.  I committed to writing one blog per week.  I have enjoyed it and I have had several people share their appreciation for them.  I hope it uplifts them as much as it does me.  I have decided to make a new goal and post every day.  I'll probably mostly have short posts and a weekly long one.  I have 3 articles that are scheduled to be published and that is fun for me.  I will share with you when they actually are.  Thanks for all the support I get from family and friends!!  I rely on you!

                            I am now working on the Individual Worth Value

Happy New Year and Revamping Our Goals

It's a new year and it's been wonderful to reassess.  
I love revamping!!

There is a wonderful article on lds.org  by President Thomas S. Monson that speaks of living the abundant life.  

http://lds.org/liahona/2012/01/living-the-abundant-life?lang=eng

  

I recommend this highly especially as you are taking the time to set new goals.
Speaking of goals I have just completed the second of 8 in the Personal Progress Manual.  I even accomplished the 10 hour project.  I'll write about the project soon but for now enjoy the article I wrote and combined with a previous post.  I actually sent it in to be published by the PowerofMoms website.  Wish me luck!
This article represents a focus that I hope to continue throughout the year!

“The phrase “working mother” is redundant”--Jane Sellman
I love this quote.  It expresses the truth that mothers give and give and give again.  Women are naturally nurturing and as mothers we are the most charitable example for our children to see.  As a mother I’m constantly looking for ways to improve so I took on a challenge. It read partly, “Make your home life better. For two weeks make a special effort to refrain from judging, criticizing, or speaking unkindly, and watch for positive qualities in that family member.”
I included part of my journal entries so you could read of my experience.

Monday, 5 December 2011  
My husband  is responsible for the safety culture at the company he works for.  He's very good at his job and has a good understanding of behavior based culture.  He will often times bring the same principles he uses at work to apply in our family.
He told me of the 4:1 rule suggested by Aubrey Daniels who is a psychologist and applies scientifically proven laws of human behavior in the workplace.
The 4:1 rule is 4 positive comments to 1 negative comment.
He told me in order to keep my relationship strong with my children then I should do this. I was told that the kids will not reap the benefit of the compliment if I don't show it that much more in comparison to the negative comment.
I have given this rule a name; “4:1 P.T. Cruiser”

Friday, 9 December 2011  I was going to correct one of my children and decided it was not the right time. I refrained and said something uplifting to her instead.  

Wednesday, 14 December 2011
The child that I refrained from correcting has just decided to do everyone’s laundry. What a huge blessing!
I have a few kids who have been surprising me with a cleaner kitchen. They even made me hot chocolate.
It's been better here, I think, than if I had not been focusing on it.
My husband and I have discussed the actions of our children that we believe are a direct result of the 4:1 P.T. Cruising. We hope to see even more results.
I've learned that it is sometimes better to hold off on a negative criticism in order to build a relationship.
Two of my oldest and I sat at the kitchen table talking, separately. It was nice for me and I think they appreciated the time also.

Tuesday, 3 January 2012 9:50 AM
I had an experience that was painful but I think has helped me and my eldest daughter’s relationship.  She told me that she preferred I didn't give her any compliment at all if I am going to turn around and tell her just the opposite. Her words stunned and frustrated me at the same time. I tried to think during her heated explanation what it was that I could have said that was in such contradiction.
Ugh!  
I had been trying to express to her that she is naturally obedient and that I appreciated it. Then true to her words the next day I told her that she needed to be more obedient to our family's attempts in establishing a morning routine.
ERG!!
She is not a morning person and doesn't like to eat breakfast or make lunch in the morning because of the lack of time she has and refuses to make it the night before because one time when she was younger she made a lunch and there were ants in it by morning.
She said she didn't like me yelling at her to eat breakfast or to make a lunch.  
We both ended up laughing at the absurdity of it all but I committed to not yelling at her to eat breakfast and make her lunch endlessly in the morning.
I also had a stipulation that in order for me to stop annoying her in the morning that she is to go see a nutritionist with me and her father.
I have been true to my promise and our relationship has improved.  

You can see that the challenge I took on has helped me be more deliberate as a mother in the things I speak.  
I often look to my mother for an example. She has many wonderful qualities but the one that has stood out to me the clearest is how tender she is with others.
She has always encouraged us children to look at the other person's point of view. I remember being shocked when the one time she said anything negative about someone was to say that that person was being judgmental towards her and that it bothered her.
I think of this nursery rhyme that hung on my mom's bedroom wall while I grew up!!

I added a verse for mothers

What are little boys made of?

Snips and snails, and puppy dogs tails

That's what little boys are made of!"

What are little girls made of?

"Sugar and spice and all things nice

That's what little girls are made of!"

What are mommies made of?

Charity Untold and everything Gold

That's what mommies are made of!!

I know as a mother it is extremely tough to meet all the needs of our family; pushing the positive talk to the back of our mind and thus tarnishing the gold that we are made of.  I have two suggestions for mothers in order to shine our charitable characteristics and revel in the beauty of the gold.
1.  Love yourself.  
Understand who you are and what you need, taking the time to meet them.  Give back to yourself, keeping your gold buffed and shiny.  
2.  Be a 4:1 P.T. (positive talk) Cruiser
Be deliberate in the way you speak to your family.  4 compliments to 1 correction or negative will shift the atmosphere in your relationships.  You can cruise over the bumps in the road by being a 4:1 P.T. Cruiser.  You will enjoy the improvements in your mothering and your family will hear more compliments and will naturally try harder to be the people they need to be.     

Do you understand what you are made of?  Charity untold and everything gold?
I challenge you to be a 4:1 P.T. Cruiser and watch the love shift into high gear.

Happy New Year!!

The 4 day challenge to a Merry Christmas

Hello everyone,
I am blown away by the schedule of this month.  It has been so crazy!!
It has been wonderful when I've taken the time to feel my Savior's love for me and recognize it for others also.  Sometimes when I need to feel his love I sing a Primary song titled, " Heavenly Father, Now I Pray" on page 19 of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints Primary songbook.  It's short but it seems to be my little direct avenue to Him.  My way of letting Him know I need Him and His tender comfort.  He sends it every time.
The words are:

Heavenly Father, now I pray

guide and guard me everyday.

Help me feel thy love for me.

This I humbly ask of thee.

My family was recently challenged by our Home Teachers to only show our gratitude during our personal prayers and see the difference it would make in our ourselves.  It was only for a period of 4 days until Christmas and right away I was struck by the amount of times I reach out for my Father in Heaven for strength or knowledge.   I needed to find shoes (a continuous battle at our house), I wanted help to restore peace to our home, the list is huge.  So, in order to try to only show gratitude, I found myself stopping the silent requests, sometimes in the middle of it, and sharing my gratitude for at least the fact that we have shoes for 13 people, and grateful that we have all the people in our home to love.  I'll admit, there were times that I had to be very creative in the way I spoke my gratitude.  I also admit, that there were many times that I wanted to ignore my Home Teachers' challenge.
My understanding of the great love My Savior and Father in Heaven has for me increased tremendously for I was reminded constantly during this exercise.  I lost track of how many times I stopped myself mid request.
Even though, I recognize I need to humbly show more gratitude I am pleased that I feel comfortable enough to share my concerns and plead for help in my every day endeavors and recognize the greatness of His love for little 'ol me.
I love my Heavenly Father and Brother.  I am so grateful that Father sent His Son willingly.  I am grateful that Christ gave His life and gives His love.
I pray that my children and loved ones will gain the understanding and gratitude that came my way through what has become my 4 day challenge to a Merry Christmas.
        I love you and wish you a very Merry Christmas!!!

Personal Progress Faith Value Project Update

I decided that I need more supplies and money in order to do a winter garden.  My goal is to receive my Personal Progress about the same time that my daughter Cordelia does so I need to do something different.  I decided that I would do a family website.  This is a scary and new venture for me.  I am going to fill the pages with faith type experiences.  I am also going to establish a system  and use it to teach my children responsibility!  Wish me luck!!!

Divine Nature Journal Entry Value #6

http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=587

Matthew 5:9
Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called the children of God. I've always wanted to be a peacemaker. It's typically a pretty easy thing for me but there are times and situations that I am really bad at it. In fact, I'm at the point that makes me believe that I have no talent in it at all. 
I have lost all patience for a dirty home. It drives me crazy that I can't seem to get kids to put things away. I have learned that there are several habits that I could have established differently in order to help. 1. Prioritizing and making time for the kids to put their shoes or clothes away before the next task instead of leaving them on the floor. 
I used to think that if we had a bigger house then they would be able to do it easier. The simple truth is; the habit is not there. It makes me feel sad. I feel that a simple task like this should have been learned years ago. I feel like a failure in this and so when I walk around and see that yet again, the shoes and clothes are not put away, my confidence and determination goes to the wayside. This is when I start barking orders or demanding results without the kindness that should go along with it. 
I'm trying to help the kids establish a routine. I know some of my kids are catching on and they are the organized type. They are the ones that love order. The others are simply not disciplined or responsible enough yet. I'll keep on keeping on. Hopefully, by the time they go on their missions or go to college they'll be ready to not be a nuisance to their roommates.
I hope that I'll continue to improve in my responsibility to teach my children and be patient as they learn basic habits. This will help me be the peacemaker I need to be for my family.

Divine Nature Journal Entry Value #5

http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=1913

I have taken great care to do the things that my Father in Heaven wants of me. It has been a very difficult thing for me to do at times. I have had good ideas of what I should do with myself and at times I have received a "no" answer, not knowing why. I have been obedient even when I wanted to do the exact opposite. I had faith in my Father and I will say, however, that it made it easier because I had already decided that I would be obedient. I will not allow myself to think that I know better than God. I remember a time before my husband and I were married that we were going to be obedient and remain chaste. We knew that the prophets counsel was wise. We followed it. We made decisions that protected us from failure. We were able to be sealed in the temple together forever. It was not always easy but it was worth it.
As a parent I am doing my best to teach my children the importance of obedience. I believe that if they can decide to be obedient to me then they will be obedient to our Father in Heaven. It's tough to do things that you don't want to but if you have enough faith it is possible.
We have been using the trigger word ,"please" to remind the kids to be obedient. Some of my children are responding to the trigger word with obedience by immediately responding, "Yes, Mom" and doing it. Sometimes, crying as they leave. Obedience, it is though. Others of my children still argue with me. Thinking that their way is better. I worry for them and have hope that they will improve.