Ephesians 4:29 and the blindfolded mommy

"Let no corrupt communication  proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers." Ephesians 4:29

My husband is the bishop in our ward and spoke with the ward counsel about gossip being a problem and he wanted help from them to figure out what they should do.  One of the solutions was for the priesthood to go home and speak with their individual families.  That included us of course. My husband found this scripture and printed out several copies; placing them on doors, mirrors, etc.  He then gave a lesson on gossiping and gave a challenge for everyone in our family over the age of 8 to memorize the scripture.  When everyone did we would have a malt party.  My kids were thrilled!! It's funny because throughout the week while I was working on projects around the house my kids who had already memorized it would review with me so that I would get it memorized.  That was fun for me to watch them work so hard on a family goal.   I was the last to learn it but we did it in about a week.  For a while, we would remind each other not to use "mean talk" to each other.  It seemed to make a big difference. 

All but one of the posted scriptures have fallen and been thrown away except one that is left on our refrigerator.  We could slowly see  the "mean talk" coming back.  Even the joking mean talk.  

My husband was inspired because for family home evening we played a game to which I didn't know the rules to.  He had me hiding in my room while discussing the game to our kids.  He then blindfolded me and brought me out to the living room.  He gave me a bucket of pencils and pens and told me to throw them into the basket even though I had no idea of its location.  I began and the kids immediately shouted mean things to me.  I dropped them, I tossed them, never knowing if I hit the basket.  It was kinda frustrating to me because it seemed futile. Then the kids changed their words to positive ones, like good job, you're awesome, etc.  I felt  better about the game but still had no idea if I was even close.  Then the kids started shouting positive words and encouraged me to toss a little to the left or a little farther...and even though I never made one into the basket I was very close and had more interest and determination to make it happen.  I enjoyed myself much more and had I had more pens or pencils I could have made it.    He blindfolded our 3rd oldest and let her try.  He asked her how it felt when the kids were yelling negative words at her.  She said, "It hurt."  We discussed this for a while.  We then  recited the Ephesians 4:29 scripture again after all these months and my husband explained that the scripture doesn't just say to avoid corrupt or negative communication.  It's not even just saying positive words.  He explained that it wasn't until I received positive direction or words that were used "to the use of edifying" did I begin to come close to the basket.  He explained that there is a lot of negative joking spoken and, like our daughter said earlier, "it hurts."   My husband then explained to the kids that he had me go first because he wanted the kids to understand that their mom needs to hear good positive words and feedback also.  At that point I became emotional.  It's so true.  Sometimes, it almost feels pointless because my efforts aren't appreciated as much as I need.  It was an excellent visual for our family. 

This was good for our family. 

We know that we'll need to revisit this subject many times but it will be worth it.  

Personal Progress and Stripling Warriors. Faith Value #2 Journal Entry

Alma 57:21 "Yea, and they did obey and observe to perform every word of command with exactness; yea and even according to their faith it was done unto them; And I did remember the words which they said unto me that their mothers had taught them." 
As a child I didn't always follow with exactness the things that were taught to me.  When I did it was sometimes a struggle, but it was also a blessing.

Picture by Corryn my daughter

When I was a sophomore in High School I played on the Varsity basketball team (small school).  We were in a very close game.  Excitement was everywhere.  I was to do a very simple pass to our leading scorer, a senior, but instead panicked and passed to someone else.  We lost and my coach was infuriated. For a while, afterwards, he would bring up that story.  I pray that I can follow the commandments with exactness like the Stripling Warriors.  I don't want to be embarrassed or ashamed.  
As a mother I have a sacred duty to rear my children in love and righteousness.  I am to provide for needs spiritual and temporal, teach them to love, observe the commandments of God and of the land.  There is so much I need to do to prepare my children and I have been working hard to prepare myself so that I can help them.  A sister once told me, "Sometimes, even though you do all you can, they still have their agency."  While that is true, I hope to never give reason for them to not be prepared.  I am going to follow my M.I.L. 's example.  She refuses to feel guilty and wonder if she did enough.  She did enough and did it without any doubt of her purpose.  I'm going to refuse to feel guilty also.  I will be passionate in my role so I can meet my Maker with a peaceful conscious.  I'll have to have Faith in my children and Heavenly Father that they'll do their part.  
I hope that I'll follow the example of the stripling Warriors’ mothers and teach my children to follow with exactness and have faith.  I need to make it clear what the directions are, unlike that of my coach; prayerfully, my children won't panic and do something else and lose the game.  Fortunately, in life, not like in the game, we can repent and come back and feel the peace of obedience.  
Miracles happen.  The Stripling Warriors were great men.  Miracles happened for them and their mothers.  I am certain miracles will happen for you and me.  Have Hope.  
I remember feeling confused and unsure during that basketball game moment.  I was given direction at the last moment.  It was out of the norm for me.  I hope that I am clear as my job as coach to my children.  Fortunately, the things I'll require from my children will not be out of the norm. It will be consistent and clear with the help from and with thanks for Heavenly Father.  

Personal Progress and Forget Me Nots- Faith Value #1 Journal Entry

picture from flicker.com

My daughter had just come home with two of her siblings and her dad from doing temple work and had enjoyed her time. 
After unwinding from the hot ride home she was eager to accomplish her school work. She went to grab her binder that held all of her notes and papers from school and was distraught to find that it wasn't where she left it. She was frustrated because she has worked diligently to stay organized. 
She had left the house earlier that day in a rush grabbing a bag and leaving the contents behind. Little did she know that about 4 hours later her younger siblings would awake and clean up. 

picture by beaconmeadows.org

She looked all over the place. I helped because I knew how much she has tried. I even looked in the trash that was already taken out to the trash trailer; thinking that maybe it was the two year old who had cleaned up and possibly thrown it out.  




GROSS!!


It was very frustrating for the whole household. The day went on and she worked on projects that she could do without the notebook. When my husband and I left for the R.S. Broadcast she made dinner for the family without being asked; fulfilling every mothers dream. 
After the meeting, my husband (who happens to be Bishop) and I talked and decided that the church had not been cleaned by the people assigned to the task. 
We knew and felt like we needed to get the Lords house ready for His people. 
So, we decided that the best thing for us to do was to go home, grab our children and clean it. Mind you, this is 9 p.m. Ugh! (We considered calling other people to help but figured with 11 kids we could get it done quick.)
After picking up the kids and working for nearly 45 mins. I asked my previous mentioned daughter to help me re vacuum the hallways because I wasn't satisfied with my 9 year old's zealous attempt. She looked at me and half said, "but that will take us even longer; I still have homework." She quickly turned and went to work. I don't know if she was cursing my name in her mind but I was grateful for her willingness to do what needed to be done. We finished at 10 p.m. and arrived home tired and eager for our now over excited kids to be asleep. I asked my daughter if she was able to find her folder and you could see the despair, frustration, and sadness written all over her. She said, "Mom, it's useless. I've given up." 
"Did you pray?", I asked.
"Yes."
The family all chimed in with different thoughts of encouragement, "Have faith, maybe you'll dream about it tonight,(which was a reminder to her that she had received an answer to a previous prayer that way), keep looking.""No, It's pointless and I've given up." 
My husband asked the family for about the fourth time that day if anyone had seen the green binder.
I had determined I would go out and look in the other trash that had gone out to the trailer but was saved by my 5 year old little girl. 
She had the folder in hand having found it under her pillow. 
You can imagine the joy and excitement this caused in our household. Not to mention my daughter who needed it. 
My 11 year old couldn't resist saying, "the tooth fairy must have left something extra tonight!" 
The kids recognized that God answers prayers and we need to just hold on to faith. 
After settling down with my husband, with both of us now eating dinner at 10:30p.m., I told my husband how my daughter had felt a very similar thing that I had just 6 hours previous. 
I had showered and dressed getting ready for my meeting but was overwhelmed with my household responsibilities. I had knelt on my bed spilling my frustrations in thought to my Heavenly Father. My husband came and held me as I vocalized them to him. I had wanted to give up, thinking there was no use in trying. My efforts were in vain. Why should I have such expectations? He said that I would carry on because I was strong. 

picture by 321coloringpages.com

Sigh!
Have any of you felt such pain?
(Duh! I know that answer!)
Before I left, I said a prayer asking to be given a message that I would know was specifically for me.
Now, if any of you are interested, look it up and see for yourself to know if my prayer was answered that night. R.S. Broadcast Sept. 24th 2011 the address by Pres. Uchtdorf I'm sure titled, "Forget Me Nots"
There were five points he asked the sisters not to forget:
1. Forget not to be patient with yourself
2. Forget not the difference in a good sacrifice and a foolish one
3. Forget not to be happy now
4. Forget not the why in the gospel
5. Forget not that the Lord loves you
The message was sweet. It spoke peace to my soul. It relaxed my furrowed brow.
I asked my husband if he was thinking about me during the talk.
He kindly said, "Every woman that I have spoken to feels the same way and needed to hear that message."

Moments like the two I shared earlier can be so bitter.  I am grateful that my family learned a little more about faith that night.

Personal Progress X7

Personal Progress X7

I became pretty excited when I met with my oldest daughter and her young women leaders.  They had just encouraged the mothers to complete the Personal Progress program with their daughters.  The mothers would receive the medallion also.  Thinking this was pretty cool, I decided I was going to do this with each of my girls.  This should be interesting since I have 7!

I had been doing things here and there but with no real plan.  We went to the Stake Personal Progress Recognition night before summer break to support  two girls in our ward.  Each of the girls in the stake who finished the program that year shared a testimony of the goodness it brought to their life.  It was wonderful to see their display of what they did for their 10 hour projects.  We have some very creative youth and it excited me yet again.  My 14 year old daughter informed me that night she would be finished by this time next year.
Yeah!!!!!!!
and then...
AHHHHH!!!!!!!!

I am behind if I'm going to finish with her.

O.K.  so I pulled out a big calendar and set goals for myself.  I planned out when I would do what and put in my calendar when I would finish.  I thought it was very well planned out.
Summer came and went and I got maybe 5 things passed off.  Ughhh!!
Apparently, you can keep track of your progress on the internet.  It's a rather cool system I think.
All you do is:
1.  go to youth.lds.org https://lds.org/youth?lang=eng
2.  go to the right of the screen and click on personal progress
3. sign in or set up an account if you haven't yet.
I'm excited about keeping track of it online.  I can click when I begin a goal and finish it.  I can write in my journal online and then print it if I want.
I love setting goals and then looking back and realizing my improvements or at least my efforts in such.  This personal progress program gives me a focus to do that.  By the time my youngest girl who is two goes through the program I hope to have made some real progress.  :)
So, here I am yet again.  I am going to finish.  I am going to sit down today with my big calendar and get 'er done.  Well, the planning anyway.  Each time I get a value finished I will post it.  I will also let you know how my 10 hour projects go.  I'll probably share some of my journal entries because they will certainly pertain to the "Mormon Momma's" platform.
Well, I haven't shared this blog with the world yet but when I do please feel free to cheer me on!!  I will need the help.  Plus, I'd love to hear your stories about the blessings of the Personal Progress Program.
Right now, my oldest is a little skeptical about me finishing with her.  I don't blame her!! Haha.
Yet, excitement and hope is blazing and by next spring TWO medallions will be carried home to our house.
Love you all!

First Day of School=Father's Blessings

First Day of School=Father's Blessings

First Day of School = Father's Blessings

I remember when the first time that I sat at my then boyfriend/fiance house listening while his siblings would receive a father's blessing before their first day of school.  I felt privileged to be able to hear these personal and special words our Father in Heaven had for his children.  I felt I got a glimpse of how special they are.They were words of guidance, protection, and encouragement for the following school year.  I remember feeling extremely excited for them to take on this new adventure in their life. I also remember feeling strongly that I would make sure my children had that same opportunity.  The way I did that was by marrying a man who would take his priesthood and father's responsibilities seriously.  Chuck does this and every year I feel extremely grateful that my kids have this opportunity.  

From the beginning when my oldest went to Kindergarten we have recorded these blessings.  I wrote them down in my journal and then later recorded on tape and currently we record it straight to the computer.  We start with our youngest child and work our way up to the oldest and then we end with myself receiving one from my husband.    I also encourage my husband often to ask his father for a father's blessing when there is a change in his life.  

I enjoy these moments of listening to these wonderful blessings even more than I did previous to being married.  It actually can be a little chaotic  right now because some of the kids haven't learned how to be quiet  yet.  So they hang out in the bedrooms till its their turn.  As a mother, I have worries and hopes for each of the kids and so many times they are addressed in the blessing that the children receive. It's a testament to me that Heavenly Father hears my motherly prayers. I usually feel a great relief afterward.  I remember feeling like I needed to be especially mindful of certain children because of the council they were given.  There have been times when I have pulled up the recording to allow my children to re listen to their blessing during the middle of the year because they have forgotten how amazing they are.  It's also a helpful tool for me when I have forgotten how wonderful they are.  :)  

I know people who will receive a priesthood blessing from a family member or home teacher if their father isn't able to do this.  I am glad for them because it is a sweet reassurance that all will be well.  

I just want to thank my husband for being worthy and willing to do this great service.  I also wish to thank my Heavenly Father for this gift.  It's a gift of great peace and possibility for my family.  I pray that my kids will continue this tradition as they have families of their own.  

 I just couldn't resist adding this picture of my wonderful husband who will let his 7 girls dress him up!

2/22/11 Just call a Mormon Momma

2/22/11 Just call a Mormon Momma

2/22/11 Just Call  A Mormon Momma 

     

     A few years ago I received a phone call from our school's superintendent asking me to be on a committee, and he later admitted to me that, while he did invite other people not of my religion, he knew that if he wanted to get anything done, then all he had to do was call a mormon momma. I am certainly that, although I don't always get things done like I hope, or like others do. I was flattered and tried to do my best.   It was nice to hear that he had that perspective about mormon women, but not everyone does.  A year ago a long friend of mine told me he felt sorry for mormon women because they have kid after kid and then we are to old to do anything and that he thought I was wasting my life.    He is right about having child after child; I had 11 in 13 years.  Crazy huh?  Well,  It's true and there are some days that I question my sanity but mostly I am moving forward creating the life my Father in Heaven intended for me to have.
     When I was a child I heard of a family who had 10 children and I could not imagine it.  It seemed absurd to me.  How could you keep track of them?  How could you afford them?  I always thought I would have 4.  Maybe because that is what my parents had.  I became quite nervous about being a mother because I was so unsure of my ability.  There have been many prayers with the subject of motherhood in my life since that young age.
      My intention is to share a little of my mormon momma life.  I doubt I'll ever convince my friend that my life is not wasted, but I hope to share a glimpse of it with you.  Thank you for joining me as I make this journey !!   

This Black Sheep is Scaling Down

This Black Sheep is Scaling Down

10/20/2011

picture is from nmagine.com

My dad told me once when I was young that I was the black sheep of the family.

I assume it was because I was a little more out going than the rest of them.  I doubt he knew how I struggled and even though I was the black sheep of the family I was certainly shy in comparison to most.  

I remember at one point deciding I was going to fight past the nervousness and awkwardness and it was NOT easy.  I remember forcing myself to give a speech as captain of the basketball team and being so thoroughly embarrassed.  It certainly lacked "Awesomeness". 

I even received a thorough lecture from my first boss after making a big mistake at work causing a BIG, no, it was a Gigantic mess!!!!

Even though I'm not ready to share the details of this shame yet it involved the contents of the above picture. AAAAHHHH!  

 Anyway, after yelling at me for being so dense she proceeded to say how "stuck up" I was and that I walk around like I was "something".  I don't remember all the words she shared at me but it was clear she didn't know me at all.  My perceived "stuck up-ness" was really a shy teenager trying to work and not knowing what to say in a social setting.  You see, I would clam up when the boss came around; always very nervous.  Anyway, I tried to be better with that after that awful experience.  

Over the years I have become less shy, still stumbling over my words at times but being bolder

and more confident.  Presently, unfortunately, I have struggles with speaking too much.  I have to tell myself to listen more and speak less.  I never would have thought that was a possibility for me even as the family's black sheep.  

Now, I have a couple of reasons for writing mommycacher; reasons I shared in my first post.  I also have a different blog that I was writing for a more specific audience,specifically, women who belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  Ultimately, they accomplish the same thing; building up women and mothers.   I was keeping my personal religious thoughts out of mommycacher and  I realized for many reasons I wasn't being fair to myself or to any who might read; for you weren't truly getting to know me.  I'm going to Scale down my two blogs into one because, frankly, it'll be easier. 

O.k., that said,  I've been told that my excitement and convictions come across sometimes as "all knowing", while some of my children think that is true, I know that I'm struggling right along with you to find truth and treasures of wisdom.  My intentions are not to brag or spout superiority but will do my best to share who I am and what thoughts trigger my actions.  

As I do not have many posts I will copy the other blogs over.  They're quite similar with the same subjects even, but, my spiritual side comes out!  :)

With Love,

Black Sheep

oh! I mean

Mommycacher