Thursday, December 1, 2011

Acceptance, Courage, and Pretending


Acceptance, Courage, and Pretending
used by permission of Master isolated images

Life has it’s ups and downs.  The heart wrenching ride has taught me about acceptance, courage, and that it’s o.k. to pretend.
One day I gathered myself and my four youngest to go exercise. I was meeting a couple of  ladies, so there was some social benefit as well.  I was very anxious about taking my kids with me and I didn’t know if it would be worth all the effort.  I told myself, “take courage” and off we went.  
My 4 month old began to wail.  I gathered more courage ‘cause I really wanted to go home right then.  I picked up my cranky baby, modified my movements and kept on going.  I thought it was funny when my 5 year old asked, “Mom, why are you pretending?”  I explained that I was doing my best and because I was taking care of the baby I had to exercise a little differently.  
About 8 years ago, courage left me.  I couldn’t find it.  I couldn’t even wish for it.  I didn’t even want to.  I was dealing with a depression that was brought on by having hypothyroid.  
Courage has slowly returned.  There are times when I ask myself, “Christine, why are you pretending?”  I take courage, modify my movements, and then lovingly respond, “You’re doing your best and because you’re doing God’s will you have to do things a little different.” and keep on going.

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