Ephesians 4:29 and the blindfolded mommy

"Let no corrupt communication  proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers." Ephesians 4:29

My husband is the bishop in our ward and spoke with the ward counsel about gossip being a problem and he wanted help from them to figure out what they should do.  One of the solutions was for the priesthood to go home and speak with their individual families.  That included us of course. My husband found this scripture and printed out several copies; placing them on doors, mirrors, etc.  He then gave a lesson on gossiping and gave a challenge for everyone in our family over the age of 8 to memorize the scripture.  When everyone did we would have a malt party.  My kids were thrilled!! It's funny because throughout the week while I was working on projects around the house my kids who had already memorized it would review with me so that I would get it memorized.  That was fun for me to watch them work so hard on a family goal.   I was the last to learn it but we did it in about a week.  For a while, we would remind each other not to use "mean talk" to each other.  It seemed to make a big difference. 

All but one of the posted scriptures have fallen and been thrown away except one that is left on our refrigerator.  We could slowly see  the "mean talk" coming back.  Even the joking mean talk.  

My husband was inspired because for family home evening we played a game to which I didn't know the rules to.  He had me hiding in my room while discussing the game to our kids.  He then blindfolded me and brought me out to the living room.  He gave me a bucket of pencils and pens and told me to throw them into the basket even though I had no idea of its location.  I began and the kids immediately shouted mean things to me.  I dropped them, I tossed them, never knowing if I hit the basket.  It was kinda frustrating to me because it seemed futile. Then the kids changed their words to positive ones, like good job, you're awesome, etc.  I felt  better about the game but still had no idea if I was even close.  Then the kids started shouting positive words and encouraged me to toss a little to the left or a little farther...and even though I never made one into the basket I was very close and had more interest and determination to make it happen.  I enjoyed myself much more and had I had more pens or pencils I could have made it.    He blindfolded our 3rd oldest and let her try.  He asked her how it felt when the kids were yelling negative words at her.  She said, "It hurt."  We discussed this for a while.  We then  recited the Ephesians 4:29 scripture again after all these months and my husband explained that the scripture doesn't just say to avoid corrupt or negative communication.  It's not even just saying positive words.  He explained that it wasn't until I received positive direction or words that were used "to the use of edifying" did I begin to come close to the basket.  He explained that there is a lot of negative joking spoken and, like our daughter said earlier, "it hurts."   My husband then explained to the kids that he had me go first because he wanted the kids to understand that their mom needs to hear good positive words and feedback also.  At that point I became emotional.  It's so true.  Sometimes, it almost feels pointless because my efforts aren't appreciated as much as I need.  It was an excellent visual for our family. 

This was good for our family. 

We know that we'll need to revisit this subject many times but it will be worth it.